Stay tuned, i will be posting some ramblings on friends and the "shyness" of asking for favors from friends. In Chinese, we say "hahk hay". I believe there is a pride issue involved here. But I will not get into it now.
If you have something to say, leave a comment.

Until then, 3D Viz awaits.

I'm starting to panic a bit about thesis. I just realized there are about 6 weeks left of things to do.
Then i'm done with academics for a while.

Should i go to Berklee?
STay in Montreal?
Go to LA?
Go to the States?

Thesis is so draining. (Or maybe just using my brain is)

Thanks to everyone who came out to Moonflower. From the bottom of my heart, it was awesome to see you guys come out to support the event (and me TOO!)

Thanks to Jason and Nelson, Jon, and Rehuel and all the others who I got to work with. It was a blessing to serve with you guys.

ROCK ON!

I'm suprised people still read this. I'm sorry if my thoughts are not as exciting as they ought to be but tis the banality of my current life. Although I must say, if it weren't for the opportunities to serve God with music, I think I'd be a wreck. Even though music and writing is an outlet for me, in some ways, it defines my spirituality and facilitates the way I articulate my life. It is so frustrating when you want to say in words how you feel because in some profound way, it helps you shed to light why you are struggling and to understand yourself and your current situation.

I often believe I am afflicted with (Asians in general, especially men,- ((Note: Men, however, refers to all races)) what I call, emotional constipation. This affliction's symptoms include an inability to express and articulate all emotion and feeling which are all suppressed. This often leads to a flustered look or a sullen face that has no means of going beyond the stone face. At most, a thin film of moisture forms over the eye. Eventually, there may be a breaking point where all emotion is let out at a certain point in time brought on by a tiny, and often, insignificant event. This inability to express oneself is probably an act of masculinity or in the asian context, saving face as showing emotion is an act of vulnerability and is both culturally and socially unacceptable. Therefore, as asians, we are taught that it is better to be polite and hide your feelings inside especially within the family. Even within the family, children are not asked to truly express their emotion about things because there is this paternal/maternal hiearchy that is established.
Therefore, years of emotion are welled up inside and inability to truly express feelings callouses the heart.
This is true of Asian women too although not all are like that . Women still have an ability to express more so then that of the man as to become the sensitive maternal figure. However, it seems common in the asian woman that expression of feeling is still much more difficult than that of the other cultures (perhaps I refer to that of north American Culture)

What then is the cure for emotional constipation? Some turn to seek different means whether by occupying their time with random activities to temporarily mask their constipation. Whatever it may be, people still search for the emotional laxative. Others turn to the arts in painting, music and writing, the more introspective type things that allow one to truly know oneself.

Why am I writing this? I have no idea. other than the fact that it is 2 in the morning and I have to go relieve myself.

It feels good to have breakthrough in a project that you spend hours getting a headache over.

But anyway, so tonight, had a practise with JP and the gang. (that's Jason PEnalosa, another, will be famous r&B singer) and it was pretty fun playing bass w/ some ppl that knew what they were doing.

So i 'm playing on Saturday and debuting some new songs... 8:30 pm at Moonflower cafe on Masionneuve and St. Mathieu... BE THERE! 5 bux cover and u get a free bubble tea...
if not for me
for Jason Penalosa.
he is the man.

It is good seeing a lot of familiar faces this past weekend.... Adrian, my beloved roomate of two years came back to play cello at Van and Joce's wedding (which was really nice); Wendy came back from Van (on her way to HK); Pastor Dave Tsai came back; Karen Quan (Who I only see at weddings); Auntie Aida from Vancouver ; and as well , some Ottawa people like Lil, Adrienne, Garv, and Helen.

Overall, although my Saturday was completely packed w/ things to do from helping move 43 boxes of flowers to setting up the 100 lb speakers at the reception hall to screwing up some DJaying stuff, it was pretty fun. I also abused my power as the DJ to create a tres romantique ambience pour les couples and the wanna be couples and whoever else wanted an excuse to slow dance. Man, I think I had too much fun. Other than the fact that Phan really liked to dance to ABBA and people don't seem to groove to hip hop, i discovered the joys of using music to get people to move. It was a little too bad I didn't have the proper equipment to do the stuff i wanted to do with the music but oh well.

It's nice to take a break from the tumultuous forces of the thesis project. It's been a really frustrating and arduous process in trying to figure out what my thesis is really all about. Ah well, back to reality.

Oh, I'm playing the Moonflower Cafe on Oct. 25, 2003 if anyone feels liek showing up. Lemme know.

I am beginning not to appreciate John Mayer as much after that concert experience:
- entails me missing a chunk of the show cuz i didnt know taping was not allowed
- dealt with anal show personnel
- at least the bouncer was nice (well I couldn't have done anything since he was like the size of a truck)
- got beer sprayed on me by some girl who was in the lineup
- got high off some fool smoking pot in front of me...
- i missed his live performance of My Stupid mouth cuz i was backstage
- the sound guy sucked (Acoustic was too soft, everything else too loud)
- i don't know why girls scream at the frequency that pop your eardrums... good thing i still plugged my ears.. i could barely hear him play

I will own John Mayer and all his band members and stage personnel one day.

i am the new owner of a POD 2.0 and a Floorboard
i got it off Ebay for a wicked deal (Think i paid too much for shipping)
but whatever.. still cheaper than anywhere i've seen

9 more weeks to go.
at least I have John Mayer to look forward to on Wednesday.

10 more weeks to go. and thus ends the saga of Jon's university education.
What have I learned? Just a little more jaded and cynical, yet somehow, optimistic and idealist that I can make some difference in the world.