Alrite. whew. first things first, work was a long day. Man, i always feel intimidated everytime i go into someplace new. Just kinda shut up. And when i do speak, i am always afraid of my voice cracking and usually it turns out higher than my voice normally is... Thank goodness, my voice is low to begin with. Anyway, i thought i was gonna get introudced to everyone in the office but all i heard was 'hey, we have a new guy?' and no one really bothering to say hello. I barely even heard the name of the girl that i am working with who shares the cubicle space. I thought I heard jessie but i am pretty sure its jessie. and the girl in the cubicle across, her name is ada but i dont think i spoke one word to her. Jessie is probably scared of me too. haahha you know me guys, i am so intimidating. :p anyway, i ended up cutting stuff and sticking things and putting my wonderful exacto knife skills to work and set out on helping prep a presentation of a site analyisis. Then I ate lunch with friend from church who happens to work close by and got ditched by another friend for lunch. ah well. Anyway, of course i must add that the moment i stepped into the office, i was sweating profusely and didnt stop sweating for a long time. I kinda sweat on the site map and felt kinda bad but of course no one knew about it i think.

Anyhow, after cutting stuff and getting some ideas for how to do my next site analysis, i started doing photoshop stuff which was a relief. whew, photoshop... well, at least i still know how to use that. i think my autocad skills slowly deteriorated since doing Bhatt's urban planning studio. For those of you dont know Bhatt, he was a prof who's comments sounded like some ritualistic rain calling chant with underlying 'MMmmmmms' every so often... ' so JO (he always called me joe even till the very end) mmmm... this...mmm.... order ... you have here.. mmm..... it doesnt.mmm.. work.' (now think Apu when you read this)

Anyway, so i did the photoshop stuff for a while...and since no one ever leaves their desk when they are supposed to, i stayed till like quarter to 6 and then left. we have these nifty time cards and access cards to the office. i felt like i was in a spy movie. not. apparently i have to work saturdays but i hope i dont have to work this saturday cuz i have to go to this boat trip. hope i can get away with it.

So my thoughts from yesterday. Anyway, i guess it was neat just being able to serve again with the worship team that i practised with last night. BUt honestly, I think I really needed a lot of grace last night and also just letting Him speak to me. It was good that we did start off sharing a bit and prayer requests but of course you konw, all superficial things you know? I know Dan is new at this whole worship leading thing and I think that was something God was reminding me as we were sitting there. I did my best to try to share my heart but of course, thats always difficult with people u dont really know witho ut sounding overtly spiritual cuz honestly, i dont feel adequate at all doing worship. But jsut trying to understand His grace is sufficient for me is more than enough to get me going. Musically, it was alrite and i guess an old friend of the fellowship here dropped by and he's a music guru.... a wicked pianist and has an awesome ear.... anyway, you know how hard it is especially for me ot take music criticism... but then again , it's cool how i really just listened and took his advice... it was kinda God telling me hey humble yourself... and yeah what a great reminder too... that morning i think i was praying ps. 27:4 ' One thing I ask, One thing I seek, that i may dwell in the house of teh Lord all the days of my life. To gaze upon His beauty....'
wow. what awesome and profound words. And that is a prayer i pray for the people that do serve this summer on the worship team and also for the congregation here and all congregations everywhere, that people seek to live in the presence of the Lord constantly... How? I still ask but i think living a life of worship has something to do with it. For those of you who always wonder about why I consider so much of what i say and choice of activities, is to do with how God really has spoken me through music and worship of Him and not only that but in my life ... every little thing is an act of worship. I love the song Jeff Deyo wrote called '' THese hands''. The chorus goes:

'These hands were made to praise You
these lips were made to lift You up
I give to You my life in worship
These feet were made to serve You
This tongue to sing of Your great love
I give to You my life in worship.'

yeah we know when we sing we gotta mean it but I think jeff is speaking of a deeper truth that because we were created to worship our Creator, every little thing we do and say and think, reflects an act of worship to Jesus Christ. (Romans 12:1-2) Offering our bodies as living sacrificies... this is your spiritual act of worship.
Well, you might ask, and i've asked, well where does it say that we were made to worship? i found this verse recently upon reading the Psalms. Found in Psalms 8:2a the first part of the verse, it says, from the lips of infants and children you have ordained praise... Living. To worship. I think these go hand in hand.... how do we learn more and understand the essence of worship? yeah we've heard it all... its all about Jesus.... so what's that mean? SOmething like this i need to go on living this life to find out but it begins with our own relationship with Jesus Christ. To give our own desires up. Eph. 5:1-17 is a great description of what it means to be a worshipper.... its hard. I fail. we all do. But thats where grace comes in... how do we found out more? THat dust covered 66 chapter book that often sits abandoned on the corners of our desks buried under text books, or in the recesses under our bed buried under dirty laundry contains more on how we worship and live the abundant life that Jesus promised us.
I am totally guilty of not reading enough. But thats my challenge. To know Christ in the power of the suffering and death of Him and to know Him in His ressurection. cryptic words? maybe. But thats what i hope to find out ... to a God who has experienced me. through different things He has blessed me with and given me. There's definitely more to this life than living and dying ;) one more thing . don't forget that our relationship with God is just us giving in to what He says, but rather, He will bless you for doing so. And never forget that He will rejoice over you with song. Zeph. 3:17.

Anyway, thats all ffrom me for now... You're all in my prayers whether you know it or not ;) live to worship ...
more thoughts later. better Ctrl-C this before i lose it again hehe.